Welcome to the labyrinth! (turn 8)

I found myself unexpectedly expecting. My life fell apart but I told no one. Every minute in every hour in every day in all the months I was pregnant, I thought of nothing but how to resolve the situation. I literally thought of little else. For the first few months I was in denial. And by the time I realized that this was really happening, I was too far along to have an abortion. I realized I wasn't fit to parent another child, adoption was my only option.

I've written about this before, I'm now on the other side of my story.

I've missed the late night feedings and the satisfaction of nourishing my child. I've missed out on the gazing eyes looking up upon me from over a warm bottle of formula. I've missed out on the diapering and the tickles and giggles in between diapers. I've missed out on the bath times that he loves so much. I've missed out on splashes and soapy hands and the delight of a child with bubbles all around. I've missed out on being the one my child finds comfort from an aching mouth. I've missed out on being the one to dry thousands of tears, but I am still left to cry thousands myself. I've missed out on the gratification and pride you get from nursing an ill baby with a runny nose and sore throat back to the baby that runs and plays with no worries. I've missed out on all the tantrums, that are to be told as stories later on in life. I have and will always miss out on all the joy he brings everyone he comes in contact with.