Fibrillation.

Fibrillation
by: Tiffany Anderson
       Do you wish to erase me from your past?
Pretend you never met me? Well, that's too bad.
You can't deny that you felt the jolt I gave you.
So go ahead, eliminate me.
But, I'll stay buried in your depths.
And your heart will never forget me.
It might not be today, it may not be this year.
Before long, thoughts of me will crash onto your mind's shore.
It's then, my dear, I'll light your soul's dark corners.
You will know contempt, you'll go on pretending no more.
I want you think of how you crossed me, dashed me, mutilated me.
Think of it forevermore.

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Twilight pictures.

        Yes I am a Twilight fan, yes I use Photoshop. ♥

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To love and back again.

        I was always terrified of you, Jorge, because you actually made me feel something. I used to think love wasn't worth fighting for, but when I met you I was ready for that war. The truth is, I gave my heart away a long time ago, all of it, and I never really got it all back. But I gave you the best in me.

        I still think about you all the time. Every couple of nights or so, I'll dream about you. I can't just get rid of you like you got rid of me, why didn't you face me? You know, just because something is unspoken doesn't mean that it disappears or that the hurt isn't there. I dunno that I want to know the truth. I may think I wanna know, but if I knew why, I'd prolly give just about anything to go back to being ignorant.

        Maybe you and I got lost somewhere, I dunno. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, but I will evolve in love. I'll find a heart that will love me at my worst and arms that will hold me at my weakest. But you, Jorge, you're always going to mean something to me. No matter what happens. you're always gonna be somewhere deep down inside me. I’ll never forget you and the way you made me feel.

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Life is too short to blend in.

        Original thinkers, are you out there? Are we that rare? In all seriousness, hear my cry bloggers of the world, stop blogging only about family, obsessing over your kids, or trying to spread your religious bullshit. I'd like to read something that I don't already live every day. Follow my example, I don't blog, blogging is fucking stupid. I write. I wrote long before I ever signed up for Blogger. I write what I feel and I feel what I write. I'm tired of apologizing and being made to feel inadequate because my blog isn't entirely about my kids, or a significant other, or church. Yeah my kids are number one in my life, and I love them, but I didn't stop being an individual when I gave birth.

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Hang a dream catcher beside my bed.

        I awoke from a nightmare that felt so tangible only to realize that, the horror was unchanged in the sunlight. I'm alone again and it hurts. It's not a profound hurt, because I've been through worse than being dumped. I just wonder, what did I did wrong? What could I have done better? Was it me? Was it him? There are so many questions left with no answers, he's condemned me to wonder. It's a waking nightmare.

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Why little boys really giggle.

        While doing the dishes, I seen the top of a blonde head go past the bar and said "Duncan! What ya doing?" He promptly popped his head and replied "Nothing!" For the dish doing duration, he had the top of his head down to his eyes in my line of vision and was giggling and staring at me. When I finished and walked around I seen he had removed his diaper and then it all made sense lol.

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Things that go bump.

        I love darkness as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love it without knowing how, or when, or from where.

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My son the tadpole.

       

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Timeless.

        Pain and sadness feel not the binds of time that has passed. It's been a year's time since I had then lost him. Ticking is my heart, because the clock that keeps my time it crawls not flies. "A part of you has grown in me, together forever we shall be, never apart maybe in distance but not in heart."

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