Between the dusk of my childhood and the breaking dawn of my adolescence, I met my first love. This romantic odyssey would later prove to be both tragic, and magical. In the twilight of my life I was naive, loving, and innocent. I was 16 years old. It was long ago and I've forgotten the insignificant details of my original love affair, I've forgotten most of what was said, forgotten most of what was done, but I will never forget how he made me feel.
Our relationship was a fairytale of sorts, a tale of fictional romance that will never come true. "Once upon a time" is something of storytelling and not life. It's idiotic to believe in happy endings, because true love doesn't have an ending. The stabbing horror of life and pain is real. The dagger of reality is razor-sharp and unbending, I was ridiculously wounded by my own gullible heart and I bled willingly.
David and I separated in November 2004. The circumstances before our break-up were intolerable. He was controlling and possessive far past my boundaries of acceptable. He was suspicious of my every action, he didn't know that love and suspicion cannot co-exist together because once suspicion enters, love makes an exit. He was extremely jealous and was essentially destructive to our relationship. A loving relationship should be based upon freedom to love and trust and can never grow in a controlling, suspicious, or jealous heart. Turns out, he was more hypocritical than he was controlling, or suspicious, or jealous. His accusations revealed all too clearly, his unsaid confessions of unfaithfulness. I think he will deny his infidelity till his very last breath is drawn. Cheating and untruthfulness are minor compared to this outstanding reason: cruelty. He'll never acknowledge his treachery against me, and will certainly never apologize.
I thought our love was enough to change him. Then I considered how hard it is to change something about me, I had little chance trying to change David. I loved him very much. He will always be my first true love and the father of my child. I just couldn't continue living with the torture. Maybe part of loving is learning to let go, I knew it was time for both of us to move on.
Our relationship was a fairytale of sorts, a tale of fictional romance that will never come true. "Once upon a time" is something of storytelling and not life. It's idiotic to believe in happy endings, because true love doesn't have an ending. The stabbing horror of life and pain is real. The dagger of reality is razor-sharp and unbending, I was ridiculously wounded by my own gullible heart and I bled willingly.
David and I separated in November 2004. The circumstances before our break-up were intolerable. He was controlling and possessive far past my boundaries of acceptable. He was suspicious of my every action, he didn't know that love and suspicion cannot co-exist together because once suspicion enters, love makes an exit. He was extremely jealous and was essentially destructive to our relationship. A loving relationship should be based upon freedom to love and trust and can never grow in a controlling, suspicious, or jealous heart. Turns out, he was more hypocritical than he was controlling, or suspicious, or jealous. His accusations revealed all too clearly, his unsaid confessions of unfaithfulness. I think he will deny his infidelity till his very last breath is drawn. Cheating and untruthfulness are minor compared to this outstanding reason: cruelty. He'll never acknowledge his treachery against me, and will certainly never apologize.
I thought our love was enough to change him. Then I considered how hard it is to change something about me, I had little chance trying to change David. I loved him very much. He will always be my first true love and the father of my child. I just couldn't continue living with the torture. Maybe part of loving is learning to let go, I knew it was time for both of us to move on.
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