Mum's the word.

        Your shadow of doubt is precisely where it should be Mom. Until now I've assured you otherwise, lied, but with the best of intentions. I don't regret keeping my secret from even you, I'm just sorry that you had to find out at all. I'm sorry because I didn't want to break your heart yet again. My situation is a consequence of another mistake made by (surprise, surprise) me. My past and present is bursting with indiscretions, that combined with the inability to learn from my mistakes, is the reason I've arrived here. Those I love feel the pangs meant for only me and I only wanted to avoid causing anymore trouble for those who I've already brought a lifetime of turmoil. Obviously, denial has an expiration date in these situations and I knew eventually I would no longer be able to outrun the truth. Had Heather not cried witch, I could have spared you the weeks of immanent dread. It's something I'd never want to impose on another person. The torture of being able to think of nothing else for days, for weeks, for months has eroded me

        It's too late to salvage, the position is too far gone. I have enough right mind left to know that adoption is now the only option, the only door left to take. I really didn't want anyone to know, not dad.